I’ll be honest… this was a number I was hoping not to see: 40. After having William 8 days early, I kind of fooled myself into believing (despite the absence of physical signs) that this little one would be early too.
But, on the bright side, I have experienced such a healthy, relatively comfortable pregnancy that these last few days of waiting have only been as miserable as I let my mind make them. The old trick of balancing all the emotions that come with waiting, anticipating, hoping, and yet being content all at the same time…this is hard to do, as every pregnant woman in the history of pregnancy has discovered, I am sure! I wake up every morning feeling completely normal and yet obsessed with the idea that “if” today was The Big Day, then everything has to be ready, all the while assuring myself that today is NOT, in fact, The Day. But one of these mornings??? Yes, one of these days will be Michael’s birthday.
We have suddenly experienced a rush of beautiful weather, and also had Grandma visiting for a few days, so this week has been an awesome fun time with my little men. They are growing and changing into their own little people so quickly that it almost makes me sad, and also frightens me a little. The older they get, the less time I have to teach them to be godly.
My Lil’ J – 2 1/2 years old – is potty training, and maintaining a running commentary on everything, from toilet issues to whether or not aardvarks bite you and if you can, in fact, shoot them. He is definitely NOT a terrible two year old, but I find myself losing patience with him for really absurd reasons, and then apologizing. After all, this whole life thing is new to him, and why should I get irritated because he spends 15 minutes of my “valuable” time struggling to put on his own underwear, when I could have done it in 15 seconds?! He is constantly seeking verbal affirmation of whatever he is doing, or expressing curiosity in what I am doing. It is really precious to hear his constant talk, especially when he calls excitedly from his bedroom, “M’ere Mommy!” just because he wants me to see his latest Lego creation! He is rarely mean to his little brother, and on those occasions, it is almost always when I am unusually distracted or tired and have been ignoring all the warning signs of up-coming bad behavior. Often he is seeing, “Here, Will” and handing him a toy or his blankie, just to be nice. I love his tender heart in this respect!
William, in the mean time, has become a super easy kid, spending the majority of his day in his own little world (which always exists right next to Mama), exploring with objects, words, motions, everything he sees around him. He is an intense little sponge, and likes to be ‘involved’ with whatever we are doing (which actually means, just being next to us while we do it). He imitates Lil’ J especially, and cannot bear to be left out, even when it comes to discipline. Most of his antics are so adorable that it’s hard to take the naughty ones seriously!
I am so excited to see how these two little men adjust to being big brothers. William is pretty clueless about what is coming, but Lil’ J talks a lot about “baby Michael” (although I am sure he is also clueless to a large extent). He loves to go to midwife appointments and “hear the heartbeat”, and look at the clothes and such that we have ready for the new arrival.
I am also very excited to see how Michael is different from the two we already have. Each child is so delightfully unique and it is really one of my biggest joys watching my children grow and learn and interact. It is one of the best things about a large family.
Well, I hope the next time I write on this blog it will be to announce the arrival of our third son! And if not….I will probably write something dramatic and sad 🙂