Well, life with a baby is not nearly as complicated as I thought it would be. I’m sure this will change as our family grows, but honestly there are days when I feel almost….bored. Our little boy is probably the sweetest-tempered baby I’ve ever met, and spends most of his time (when he’s not eating or sleeping) just chillin’ out wherever I place him, cooing to himself, smiling and sucking on his favorite toy – which would be his hand, at the moment.
We are staying at a friend’s house for the week, watching their two little ones while they go on a business trip, and it’s been interesting to jump from taking care of one very easy baby to full-time handling of three kids, two of which are active toddlers. Let the fun begin! Seriously, they are great kids, and most of the issues we’ve had so far have been due to my own ineptness.
Beginning this new year, I have done a lot of looking back and searching my heart, and mostly I find two main truths: I have been overwhelmingly blessed, and I am REALLY not a good person. God has given me EVERYTHING! Eternal security, His Word, His presence, a fabulous family (including great in-laws!), a beautiful, healthy baby, a lovely home, a husband who is more patient, loving, forgiving, strong and amazing than I can even describe, and what is my response to all that? I grumble, I criticize, I nit-pick, I am the antithesis of diligence, I am not faithful in Bible reading or prayer, my heart is shriveled and selfish, and mostly, I just do my own thing. And the people I love best always pay for it. Oh, this sin nature! Some days, I don’t even bother to struggle with it. Some days I yield before I’m even tempted, and let a bad attitude take control of my life. This is NOT who I want to be! This is NOT the way I want to live the rest of my life! But, if I don’t have the strength and the courage to change it NOW, then before I know it, it will be the rest of my life.
2013 – you will be different. I will make this a year of fighting – the good fight. I will make this a year of service. Of gratitude. Of humility. Of diligence. Lord, You’ve already given me everything I need. Please, help me to use it.